Here comes the bride, all dressed in...

Courtesy of: PEOPLE

"It's a nice day for a....white PINK wedding!"

I know I'm not the only one that was stabbed in the heart by seeing Jessica Biel's much anticipated wedding garb. The rest of the online fashion community seems pretty thrilled with her choice, but I on the other hand, cannot get over a few things. 

1. Why did People magazine make the bride SIT for the cover photo? Oh, I should've known better, you want me to pay $4 to get a full glimpse inside.
2. Was it really necessary to put a story about Britney right next to Justin's head. I mean, the couple trusted you enough to run their wedding exclusive and seriously, Jessica had to be spitting at your magazine when she saw this. (I also won't speak of putting Sandusky next to the bride's head. Can you say tasteless?)
3. I wonder if Jessica ever got to attend prom. Her dress reminds me of a dress you would regret immediately after getting your professional photos back.

I just want to go on the record that I really am not a bitter person. I just speak my mind when really I should join the masses and say how wonderful it is that she took a fashion risk. Look, not all fashion risks are a good idea. Especially the day of your wedding.

Now, a few more deets on the dress. Jessica's gown was designed by Giambattista Valli, an Italian designer that shows at Paris fashion week. His line just debuted in 2005, and previously the designer has worked under fashion houses like Emmanuel Ungaro and Fendi. He designs a couture collection in addition to a Bridal line and did a contemporary lower-priced collection for Macy's last fall.

Photo via Style.com

The dress that Jessica chose as her wedding gown looks awfully similar to the gown that walked down the runway during GV's Spring 2012 show. So, now you can see why I had heart palpitations regarding her choice. If you haven't noticed the floral sponge-paint print on the People cover, you can now. Pink has been done times before, like Gwen Stefani or Reese Witherspoon, and it's held its own nicely. I actually l.o.v.e. the silhouette of this dress and I think it could've looked spectacular in layers of tulle - an ivory, eggshell color or even blush tone with some embellishment for god sake. 

In good news, we did hear that she chose another frock for the reception. We bet that one is cute, where is it?! Oh right, inside the magazine. Don't worry JB, at the end of the day you could have walked down the aisle in a bikini. You're still married to one of the most good-looking men in Hollywood. Congrats!

Speaking of the groom, People reported that his tux was a Tom Ford in which he helped design. I appreciate the gesture but really, why do you need to help Tom Ford? Not for anything it's a tux, so what did you do to it? God, you're cute.

Congrats & happy honeymoon to the newlyweds! 

Wonder where they chose to relax after this spectacular Italian affair.....